GO!

A few weeks ago, Steve asked me,  “How do you know we’re being lead?  How do you know that it’s you God is speaking to?”  I thought about it for a moment, and then a feeling of doubt came over me.  “Is it true?”  I questioned myself.  Am I bringing my family somewhere I long to be?  Am I caught up in my own wants and not God’s desire for our family.  But all those prayers, all the moments I felt I was communicating with God. The tears He’s brought to my eyes!   I started to think back to the many days I‘ve spent reading His Word.  All the prayers I’ve shared with Steve and the many Scripture verses the Lord has instructed me to trust in Him, to understand His heart, to delight in Him, and to know his desires for me and for the people he loves.  But because Steve was questioning me, I suddenly started questioning myself.

That night before I went to bed I asked God “Is it me Lord?  Am I  doing what YOU want me to do?”  I prayed for any sign from Him that what I was feeling was actually Him working in me.  I fell asleep that night hoping to receive a dream from God letting me know it is all Him, that these are His plans and not mine.

Nope.  No Dream.  Never happens that way for me.  The only visible sign that God has ever given me is an opportunity to adopt a little boy from Ethiopia.  To see firsthand,  the hardship and suffering most of the children endure there.  To see their sad, hopeless faces looking up at you.  They all wanted to be held, to be touched, to be loved.  God captured my heart and instantly placed a desire in me to love and care for the ones hurting in Ethiopia.  God has used my desire of serving in Ethiopia(and the adoption itself) to bring me closer to HIM, to know HIM more,  depend on HIM more, love HIM more,  trust HIM more.  In my many moments of quiet time with Him I have learned and often felt His PEACE, His LOVE, His HOPE, His COMPASSION, and His JOY!!

So no dream.  My conversation with Steve was replaying over and over that next morning as I got the kids ready for school.  As soon as everyone left, the house quiet, I grabbed my Bible, prayed and randomly opened my Bible to the last chapter in Matthew.

             "Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them
                     in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.
                 Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you.
                    And be sure of this:  I am with you always,  even to the end of the age."   
                                                                                                  Matthew 28:19-20

As I read and reread those words, my eyes began to fill with tears and my heart started to beat a little faster. I knew it was God speaking to me at that moment saying YES you need to GO!!  Go and share the gospel, shine the light of Jesus in their lives, love them the way Jesus loves.

However God wants to use us, wherever he leads us, whatever he has us doing, let the people of Ethiopia see Him!  That He will be glorified.